The Faculty Imposter
Me and my Bachelor’s degree,
Sittin’ in a tree,
My ID card says “FAC-UL-TY.”
That’s right, my ID card here at the university says “Faculty.” Has there ever been anything more amusing? I think not.
Out of all the differences between working a corporate job in the private sector and working at a research institute within a public university, the one I get the biggest kick out of is my title.
My everyday title and the one printed on my business card is X Developer. Simple and plain enough. Where things get fun is how the specific college the research institute belongs to and the university as a whole views me: Research Assistant.
I mean, I know technically I am assisting in research, but I don’t consider myself the traditional definition of one. I’m not like Girlfriendy. She’s the Research Assistant in this relationship. She’s the researcher. Not me. I’m just a techie. But now I have research cred, at least on paper, because my contract says “Research Assistant.” Hee.
But back to my ID card. I don’t teach any classes and I don’t have a Master’s much less a Ph.D. There’s zero chance I’m going into academia. Zero. This is the closest I’m ever going to get to being considered Faculty anywhere, anytime, by any stretch of the imagination.
And that’s what makes it so much fun.