“The Agreement”
Girlfriendy and I have an agreement: since I have followed her to Smallville so she can go to school, after she gets her Ph.D. I get to choose where we live next, no questions asked. She can offer her opinion and preferences of course, but it is I, Trailing Geek, who gets the final say. Huzzah!
Of course it helps that I’m a city girl and the places I want to live have lots of career opportunities for both of us. And good food. Still, I’m clinging to this morsel of decision-making authority with both paws.
Here’s our agreement which will soon be framed and hung somewhere very visible. Heh.
My wonderful Trailing Geek,
So that you have this in writing with which to remind me in the future, you have here in this email my full commitment to you that, should you choose to move to Smallville with me and withstand the ridiculous hippie culture, that after I finish my internship & Ph.D. we can move to anyplace of your choosing.
I love you with all my heart,
Girlfriendy
I’m also thinking I should get it notarized before classes start.
Spouse and I had a similar agreement, too. Then the economy tanked, and I was forced to do a national search. Some of the places I applied and interviewed weren’t really on our radar at all before I read the job listing.
I realize there are a lot of forces at work here, but I wouldn’t be limiting yourselves to particular places just yet. The market may not recover, the market in her field may not be good that year, or any number of other things might happen that would preclude her from getting a job in your preferred cities (or at all).
Be realistic, and be willing to flex a bit…or a lot.