Trailing Geek

Separate vs. Joint Finances or What the Hell Do We Do Once Grad School Starts

I recently posted about how Girlfriendy and I divide cooking and kitchen responsibilities, a hot topic among anyone who shares oxygen with another human being. Well, recently CNN’s Money Makeover series featured a couple who have been married 8 years but have completely separate finances, which brings up another hot topic among couples: money.

When it comes to finances, Girlfriendy and I keep it pretty straightforward: separate accounts. No joint bank accounts at all. What’s hers is hers, and what’s mine is mine. For common bills and household expenses, we found the percentage system to be very helpful:

• We added my take-home pay and her take-home pay to get: Total Monthly Income.
• We divided Total Monthly Income by My Take-Home Pay to get: My Percentage of Total Monthly Income.
• We then divided Total Monthly Income by Girlfriendy’s Take-Home Pay to get: Girlfriendy’s Percentage of Total Monthly Income.
• For every bill/expense, we each paid our percentage share.
• Example: if my percentage was 75%, and Girlfriendy’s was 25%, and our phone bill was $100:
  • I pay $75
  • Girlfriendy pays $25

The best part of the percentage system is the person who makes less does not end up getting punished or left with peanuts after all expenses are paid. Sure, in an ideal world each partner would make exactly the same amount of money and everyone could pull their “equal” financial weight. But real life rarely works that way. With the percentage system, each partner pays what I honestly think is their fair share, and has money left over to do with as they please.

We have slowly joined forces on a few select accounts, like getting a Family Plan for our cell phones and having joint auto and home insurance policies. But it doesn’t really go beyond that and we are okay with that. In a previous relationship I joined all my finances completely, feeling like that’s what couples were supposed to do, and I hated it. I never felt like I had any spending money of my own, which is brutal when you’re a fully functioning adult.

Perhaps in the future we will take on additional joint finances where it makes sense. But I don’t see us ever giving up our individual accounts.

The big question now is what happens once Girlfriendy begins her doctoral program and starts to live soley on her GTF stipend, dew, and universe juice. I have always made more money, but soon I will REALLY start making more money. As in, the percentage system might start returning numbers less than 1%. So most likely the percentage system is taking a hiatus. As a Trailing Geek I knew the financial burden would fall on me to support us while she’s in school, and I am totally on board with it.

I’m proud, and grateful, that I have a job that can support us and afford us a lifestyle that’s a step up from the average student poverty level. In other words, I’m happy to be the Sugar Mama in the relationship for the time being. Of course, once Girlfriendy gets her Ph.D. I fully expect her to bring in untold amounts of riches so I can retire. I heard research is very lucrative.