{ August 12th, 2010 }
Helpful Web Sites for the Grad School Trailing Spouse
Being a techie, I spend a lot of time online and the first place I go to research and learn about any topic is the internet. So when Girlfriendy started applying to doctoral programs and the reality of moving with her finally hit, I went online to try and figure out this whole new world:
- The Process
At first I dove into learning more about the application, interview and acceptance process, so I could be a Supportive Partner. I can’t say I knew too much about doctoral programs, academia or research going into it. but I felt educating myself on the lingo and the processes allowed me to “follow along at home” much more substantially and have more meaningful conversations with Girlfriendy about it. - The Locations
I also researched the towns and universities to which she applied. I checked out department web sites and read the bios of her POIs (Professor of Interest) and the grad students currently in the program. I then did basic research on each town: size, population, weather, demographics, etc. There was only one place she applied to that I really had misgivings about moving to, and there were lots of places I was really excited about. FWIW, Smallville fell somewhere between the two extremes.
- The Relationship
Though sites devoted to Trailing Spouse-dom do exist, I didn’t find a whole lot of info out there from and about trailing spouses of grad school students. I found a lot of blogs from grad students themselves who sometimes mentioned their partner and the effects of the transition on their relationship, but not a lot from the partners themselves. I really wanted to hear about other couples’ experiences with the unique world of grad school and how it affected their relationship, especially when one partner was not in school but working.
I found the following sites, and their forums, particularly helpful. It’s safe to say I trolled them on a daily basis (perhaps even more often than Girlfriendy, the actual applicant, did!):
Student Doctor Network: http://www.studentdoctor.net/
The Grad Cafe: http://thegradcafe.com/
Chronicle of Higher Education: http://chronicle.com/